West Indian Girl

the only bad thing about our april tour was that it started in boston and we live in los angeles. that being said, mariqueen and i were the ones who drove the van and uhaul all the way across the country to meet the rest of that band (that flew to boston in the comfort of jetblue leather seats). our plan was to make a pit stop in grand rapids mi to see my folks and drop my dog off before we hit boston. we left last sat at 9pm and arrived in michigan on tuesday at 9pm. let me tell you one thing about mariqueen. if you think this girl is all dainty and fragile you’ve got her all wrong. she was a warrior driving across the country with me. we only stayed in one hotel room on our way and that was in amarillo, texas. (a travelodge with wireless internet!). instead of always getting a room, when ever we got tired of driving we just slept in the van at the nearest rest stops. i dont know how many of you have slept like this but it is pretty weird. we would pull into a parking spot in between two big rigs and just sleep until we woke up. usually we woke up because the van started heating up in the morning sun. the experience was pretty cool in a strange way because we got our road legs on pretty quick.

while we were in michigan we stayed with my parents who, out of the kindness of their hearts, agreed to watch tony for me. i had to bring tony along on this tour because it was too expensive to have him boarded in los angeles. it’s too bad we arent filthy rich yet because he would have had a great time with cesar milan’s pack. my parents seemed to instantly succumb to tony’s charms. i think they really liked having the company. their place is pretty cush and he’s got plenty of room to hang out and take nice walks with his grandpa.

one of the few nice things about the state of michigan is abundance of meijers super stores there. if you’ve never been to a meijers you’re missing out. its a one stop for everything…i mean everything…you name it and its there. i had the pleasure of taking mariqueen there for her first time. too bad they dont have these in l.a…just goes to show you that the west coast isnt as cool as it thinks.

so, as far as the road trip went we saw snow in arizona of all places. to top that off the worst weather we encountered was actually in california when we were driving out on the 15. strange huh. the last night of the drive we made it to springfield mass and stayed in a econo lodge. this hotel sucked ass as because there was no wi fi and the sink in the bathroom was leaking all over the place. it wasnt too cool for 65 bucks.

MARIQUEEN’S MIND

oh my… grand rapids, michigan. boy was i glad to see you. fran and i drove from downtown l.a. to michigan in three days. for. real. we had the pleasure of sleeping at rest stops in california (some sketchy city called needles), arizona, missouri and illinois. glamorous, isn’t it? well, someone had to be a soldier… so fran and i took on the mission. it was actually really stressful. i remember driving for six hours straight and had to endure fran being a backseat driver stress mess while he was sitting shotgun. there were at least two occasions when i yelled back at him and hated him for an hour straight. the chaos was all worth it. we made it to our destination in record time and were lucky enough to stay with the very lovely and hospitable mama and papa ten (fran’s parents). they have a beautiful home with a library collection that makes me dizzy with delight. i was greeted by warm hugs and tons of food (i probably gained five pounds from my two day stay). fran and i spent our first day in town trying to find places with wifi connection. fran was having a conniption fit over the fact that he couldn’t connect to the internet on his laptop. it was like he lost his penis or something… it was crazy. we went to a barnes & noble and worked for two hours straight. we treated ourselves to an evening at meijers right after. meijers is what happens when target and vons have a love affair. im actually surprised that meijers isn’t it’s own city yet. it’s huge and functional. i bought a dress and necessary toiletries, looked at pets, got confused as we were walking down the grocery aisles and finally got stressed out at the self check out line. as we were walking to our car i noticed that meijers even had a gas station across the street. hi mr. meijer, my name is mariqueen and i think we should talk about sponsoring this lovely band i sing in… i can see it now… meijer tour bus with all the food and toiletries and gas we need. sometimes i am so brilliant i can’t even stand it. anyway, that night we hung out with fran’s brother chris and listened to old records and played pool and at some point in the evening i pretended i was xena, princess warrior and fran played paparazzi. back at mom & dad’s house i read a book on aphrodite until i got cross eyed then went to bed. our last day in town was spent packing, getting mentally prepared for the drive ahead and some last minute stops. i was anxious to check out the salvation army and hooters. first stop – salvation army. end results – nothing. next up – hooters. end results – fran and i left hooters empty handed and disturbed.

grand rapids parting thoughts: i think the city should look into lighting the roadways properly and keeping the speed limit at 40 and not at 55. i think fran’s parents are two of the most fantastic people i’ve ever met with superb taste and an enviable collection of EVERYTHING. thank you so much for all your hospitality… i can see why fran turned out to be such a loving person, he came from a great upbringing. momma ten, i still daydream about your congo bars and non fat milk. 🙂

tony with his grandparentshis first time in the snowmariqueena princess warrior

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