Moline, IL
tony back on tour 4.20.06
hello moline – tony was back in the van for the remaining 5 shows – that probably sucks for everybody else to have a dog in here but it had to happen and im glad everyone is being so cool and dealing with him. i wasnt expecting much from moline and as a general rule its good when you dont expect much because you’re pleasantly surprised. 
we played a place called the bent river brewery which had some really tasty beer – the raspberry wheat and coffee flavored beer were tops in my book. as for the show – this one was like a laguna ocean st brewery show….set up on the floor and play. it was pretty cool because the bump boys are gangsters and travel with a full light set up that they were kind enough to let us use as well. i cant stress this fact enough….lights help no matter where you play. we switched up the set tonight and i thought lewscious and i played “what are you afraid of” the best we have played it on tour thus far. another highlight for me was getting to watch rob and q sit in with bump on send me an angel. it was fun to watch and listen to. this was a kooky gig all around. long live moline.
mississippi river thanx to: this guy (forgot his name) at the bar who told me that the mississippi river was literally a few blocks away. i grabbed mariqueen and tony and set out on a quest to see it. the dude was right…i walked a few blocks and blam, there it was in all its brown glory. tony even dipped his paw in trying to get some ducks. in general it didnt really seem like much was going on in moline…we walked by 3 other bars on my way to the river and they only had a few people inside them. weird. sort of lonline if you ask me.
Mariqueen’s Mind
The City: moline is a really quiet town. really quiet as in we arrived at the venue at five something in the afternoon and nothing was open. i’d say next time you consider moline as a vaca spot remember my words and just go with aruba instead.
The Venue: we played at a bar called the bent river brewery. yes, bar. bar as in no amps, no real monitors. no stage. but! they had wireless internet and some of the tastiest beer i’ve ever had. sweetest bartender i’ve ever had the pleasure of getting endless free drinks from… hooray svedka and fruit flavored beer. if you were to ever come to moline, i highly suggest you visit the bent river brewery… and bring your laptop.
The Show: well, it was what it was, you know? after playing all those crappy michigan shows this wasn’t even anything disappointing. i knew what we were getting ourselves into. oh looky here, surprise surprise, i couldn’t hear myself the whole entire set… the bump guys had been kind enough to bring amps and monitors for the show [theyre stellar]. when we sound checked i heard myself just fine… showtime came… nothing. i’d say this was the fifth time it’s happened. that is five times too many if you ask me. i guess it’s a small blessing in disguise because i finally got used to having crap sound on stage and just rolled with it. you gotta do what you gotta do… right?
What Were You Thinking While Playing: am i getting sick? how many shows in a row have we played already? im getting sick, i can feel it… great, i have no more airborne. shizer. i guess i’ll just have to drink more beer and vodka.
Interesting Things After The Show: i sold t-shirts for half of what i should’ve… i blame the alcohol for my poor judgement, then i got my ass kicked by nathan at cricket [damn you raspberry beer delight!]. rob and i did send me an angel with bump. fran and i walked tony to the mississippi river… and then nathan disappeared with three girls from the bar. if there was a toothy smiley faced emoticon i would stick it right here.
THE JAMES REPORT
Who would have thought there was so much love in Moline, IL. Great energy, great people. We’ll meet again.
NATHAN’S NONSENSE
Moline: This charming little burgh is actually part of the Quad Cities megatropolis. Never heard of the Quad Cities before? Well, neither had we. Permit me, gentle reader, to thus acquaint you with a poignant morsel of historical erudition by way of this illuminating and little-known vignette. You see, in days of yore, well before the modern advancements of things like lava lamps, 8 track players, and sticky notes, an intrepid explorer by the name of Buck Von Benderswerth was purportedly commissioned by Napoleon Bonaparte in 1801 to assess the value of the territories north, and to the west of, the port of New Orleans, ostensibly to help inflate its retail value by any means necessary. Though still under Spanish control, the sprawling Louisiana territory was set to be turned over to the French, thanks to the secret treaty of San Ildefonso. Rather than utilize this new acquisition as a launching pad for an almost unequivocal invasion of American interests, an idea favored by French Foreign Minister Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord and others of the aristocracy, Napoleon instead held fast to the notion that it would better serve to be auctioned off to that ninny, Thomas Jefferson, with the potential earnings from the sale going to fund his beloved covert ice cream initiative. 
Though pundits today would attribute the invention of ice cream to nearly a century later, Napoleon believed he was on to something when a certain Jean-Luc Dubois claimed to possess the fabled recipe for a desert so refreshing, it was said to give convulsive chills of delight. Napoleon’s downfall was twofold: Dubois turned out to be nothing more than a Swiss mental patient on the lam, while Benderswerth himself was, in fact, an idiot. Benderswerth, through a stroke of utter fancy, concocted a plan to carve from the earth a vast tributary of the Mississippi River which would branch off to the northeast well into Wisconsin. He would then attempt to convince the Americans that this new river was in fact the Mississippi, which would thus allow Napoleon to finagle the sale of property which was in fact already theirs to begin with. Robert Livingston would later refer to this as the single most retarded ruse ever conceived. To Benderswerth’s credit, the plan was actually completed using a herd of trained gorillas imported from Africa as his loyal minions. Thus, the Rock River, as it is called today, was born, and the now the famous Louisiana Purchase was thereby negotiated by the Americans for a measly 3 cents per acre. Benderswerth, rather than face the humility he was sure to be branded with back home and abroad, elected instead to stay right where his futile endeavors left him. 
There, at the intersection of the two great rivers, he founded Moline, Illinois, and drank away the rest of his days in an oblivion of insignificance. The Bent River Brewery- which, by the way, has some of the tastiest microbrews I have ever tasted- is said to be built on the very spot where Benderswerth, after a last horrific bout of drinking, was found lifeless in a pool of his own sick. This is also where the term “bender†happens to come from. And that’s the truth, Ruth. What about the show, you ask? Well, I met some wonderful people that night- you know who you are- and rocked the dart board afterwards. Also, Bump performed a rousing cover of Real Life’s “Send Me An Angel†with Q and Rob joining in, something they had started doing the previous night in Grand Rapids with just Q. Highly amusing… ol’ Benderswerth would’ve been proud
a mississippi blues moment
our favorite burn outs
flash on
flash off
“send me an angel”
F10
